fuck

fuck. whatever i got for my pmr is totally insignificant.

WHY?

because if i were to state how happy and satisfied i was, my mind unconsciously tells me this.

1) xian wei, retard no 1 in our gang got straight As.

that was my brain typing. my heart states otherwise.

2)7887 ppl got 8As in KUALA LUMPUR alone.

which is 2As more than me. which means they scored straight As while taking ONE more subject than me. which i, only got 6 out of 7 for. which means i cannot compare myself to any of them which means while i cudnt even score for ONE language paper which is BM, they scored TWO.

which means while i only got 6/7 which means 85% out of 100%, if i were to measure myself up against ppl who took 8 subjects and got all As for them. wat i have achieved wud be insignificant. this is because with that extra A, it wud mean they got 114% which is 29% more than me. which also means i, being a chinese boy, have failed my identity.

FUCK ME.

3)if we were to compare ourselves to any other countries. exclude the ones that u knw ARE stupid. or simply incapable because of their countries status. status being "at war, chaos or natural disaster has struck." NOT simply "malay." yes i knw, GOOD JOKE.

yes, u knw wut to expect, so before u get all smug, think abt the fact that if u were to migrate to another country, u would be put in probably a special needs class. 

4)my family, including my extanded family, friends etc is PROUD while being ignorant abt the above facts. which results in me feeling aboslutely STUPID when i think abt what i am.

now for the mother load

5) I ACTUALLY THINK IM GOOD. 

FUCK.

NOW, six reasons why getting 6As is better than 7.

1) when u get 6As, u can boast. why?

because, even when u boast, ppl cant tell because, well u didnt get straight As. 

2) u can still tell ppl FUCK bm. who gives a shit? certainly not me. 

and ppl dun question u, i mean  u DID fuck ur bm paper up.

3)it shows ppl that no matter how perfect i am, i AM flawed, that what makes us human. and I am qualified. coz i din get straight As.

4)6As make u sound like a rebellious boy that has good results. if u WERE  a rebellious kid and u got 7, ppl would have to see u before they made that conclusion. where else 6 speaks volumes by it self.

5)by getting 6As, and flunking my bm, i have become the majority of students who have fked their bm paper up hence, making the gouvernment realise what a burden bm is. or iin our case, maybe matthews will cancel bm. i mean our school IS private

6) six sounds so much cooler. i mean we even get to use cooler hand gestures when we tell ppl.

yea? hahah

oh well, i shall try my hardest to get myself an ipod nano video.

heck jz another post

has anyone gone to a mamak store and found out all u cud watch was SUNTV?
specifically, a music video programme?
well, i found myself in that situation this very day.

fact,
only three songs can be fit into a whole half an hour.

fact ,
advertisements HAVE to be songs.

fact, malaysia is made of sad sad idiots
why i say someth like dat?

ok, u knw all those little chat logs at the bottom of the screen when the music video is played where one has to pay an ammount to sms whateva they want and it wud be displayed for the whole nation?

well, this programme is making big bux all right. ppl actually have conversations on that chat log.
and talk abt reaching out to other races, there were tons of ppl smsing in MALAY. when they cud sms in tamil. i might be making conclusions a wee bit too early but i seriously have no idea what else could this mean.

so i came up with a few reasons
1. the person is malay. respects to SUNTV, they actually lured MALAY ppl into watching a HINDU channel.

OR

i shall put it in malay incase the person who i am talking abt happens to watch this. ENGKAU INI MEMANG KASIHAN LA.

2. indian ppl are seeking ways to be degrade themselves.

OR

indian ppl just find the malay language sexy. i mean, what could be more sexy than a language that stresses upon foul words frm other races?

OR

speaking the malay language in ur everyday life will increase ur chances of deceiving ppl that u ARE indeed malay and lay a malay girl with a richass father whoe earned his money the malay way.

3. u want to stand out and u cant think of a better possible way to make heads turn besides screaming "IM INDIAN BUT I SPEAK MALAY!"

4. u wake up one day and u just say to youself "u knw wut? life just isnt meaningful enough if u dont make fun of urself and laugh." so u decide to hit the motherload of all jackass stunts and speak malay. i mean u can videotape urself and post it on youtubes and get comments like "whoa wtf, that was rad man!"
" shit u got balls man"
"fuck! ur my fkin idol"
"fkin awesome shit dude."

5. u have no indian friends

6. u figure lepak-ing in malls is ur way of life.

7. u feel that there is not enough controversy in ur life and what better way than to get a headstart than speaking malay while being indian?

8. u want to be the britney spears of malaysia. britney did this did that well eat this britney! im indian but im speaking malay! whose the bigger wreck NOW?

9. ur motto is "what doesnt kill u makes u stronger"hence u welcome the daily beating ups.

10. u may watch bollywood, but in truth, ur greatest passion is lousy vocals and shitty lyrics sung by our boys in brown!

heck i could go on all day but that should be it for the day.

now, i would like to comment abt this indian music vid i saw. HECK its not ur usual field dancing song.
picture this.


its downtown bombay, a gang of strong and buffed up indian men have captured a beautiful lady-passerby which coincidentaly happens to be our leading actress! noone dares to do a thing. the town is scred stiff!
she screams in tamil and opens her eyes so widely u feel she must be really dedicated to her job.
THEN.
a motorcycle aproaches. a big fierce harley davidson kind of bike. but there is no rider! but alas, there is! he is lying down on his bike while his bike speeds at 130km/h toward the bad guys.
THEN
the bike breaks so dramaticaly that the rider is flung out into the air. but he manages to land on both feet while winking.
THEN
out of nowhere a guitar appears and our handsome bearded rider starts to play his guitar and all of a sudden the town begins to dance behind him all equiped with acoustic guitars waiting to kickass! did i meantion they were scared stiff in the beginning?
THEN
out hero start shooting out of his GUITAR. and he manages to catch his beautiful damsel in distress. he looks at her. she looks at him.
THEN
they break out into a victory dance and in the meantime backup arrives. so the hero dances and kills almost every man to hold someth. i cud have sworn he shot a guy holding a banana. this continues for a good 7 minutes.
THEN
the boss arrives. he steals our heroes GUITAR. the townsfolk as scred silly AGAIN. but our hero has a few tricks up his sleeve. he reaches out and grabs the guitar case and shoots a rocket at out boss. the town explodes and the bad guys fly into the sky the way power rangers do when they get shot. INCREDIBLE. absolutely MAGNIFICENT.

someth else i saw on tele.
u know the profitable plots advert?
isnt it ridiculous?
u knw the one with steve macman and bryan robson?

"hey robbie, u heard of profitable plots? i bought one"
yea macca, i bought two
"u bought two??? i onli bought one"

the acting is SOOO horrible its funny. dont quit ur day job mates.

em..

uh..

yea..

abt wut i wrote.

no offence yea?

its more of a read for fun kind of thing dun take it seriously.

yea?

cool.

ok, jsh. i shall use ur idea.

EVERYONE IS NICE.

frankly coz noone has screwed me yet

ok. well, today i read my 8-yr old cousin's book of answers.
there was this page in the book that was answering the "where did babies come frm"

well, this is what it said." when mommy and daddy love each other very much, daddy's penis becomes very stiff and fits perfectly into mommy's vagina. this is called 'making love' or 'having sex'

damn if onli i read it when i was his age.
instead of staying up all night trying to figure out wut they were doing in titanic.


my parents still dont let me watch it.

but i did. its good.


oh yeah. XYUN AND ALAS ARE LEAVING US.

NOOOOOOOO.

there i spilled my guts out in one line.

*sniff*
PLEASE sms them. it cost them double toRECIEVE

=)

sincerely, TjChuen

www.chuen-slams.blogpsot.com

what do u feel when u read my title?

could it be "slam"? slam wut? basketball?

DEEEEEHHH (annoying buzzer sound)

to trully understand the meaning of "chuen-slams" let me tell u a little story.

jc din like a few blogs and decided to make a blog dedicated to slamming blogs. ok, get off my fucking my lap, story fking over. geddit? no? HU CARES

and it has come to my attention that this blog is not fulfilling its purpose. notice its singular, not plural?

so lets get down to bussiness.

first up, ky's. ur onli first cause i have to go to urs b4 i get to read other blogs.

WHATS WITH THE EMO-NESS? the lovey-dovey pics that scream "im a 40-yr old virgin"
geez. girl, ur FIFTEEN u have a whole life ahead of u to find love. dun succumb to using a pic of a girl holding a guys hand to tell ppl im fking wishing i was in love. it makes u sound like a girl noone talks to. i have to read ur cbox to realise i AM reading ky's blog.
btw, thanks for the lovely remarks of me in ur blog. no, serious. im not sarcastic. more ppl need to call me a gentleman.

next up, grace
another emo-fied blogger. just that ur very open abt ur emo-ness. hoo-fking-ray.
3 cheers for emo-ness. telling ppl that u wish u liked the way u look, wishing u were smart and wishing u were comfortable with urself. geez, do i have to bitch slap u to get u to ur senses? ur a beautiful girl with a great personality. as u always preech to others abt ur God's greatness. well, appreciate his blessing bitch.
fuck, i look like shit, do i complain?!

aite, next. cheng yee.
look, i dun mean to be an asshole, ur a great friend. i love u as a friend but dun FKING POST ABT UR FKING LIFE. notice everyone just says its like a diary? well, it is AND ITS FKING BORING. no offence meant.

THANK U.
if u read this post and felt so fucking offended u wish u could cry then DO SOMETHN TO CHANGE UR BLOG STYLE.
ok, im pretty fucked right now. im just bored and i want to read quality. not quantity.


FUCK. the gov is cracking down on ppl who dl illegally, and the fine can go up to rm 500,000.
WAT THE FUCK.
firstly u mother fucker, did u realise that most of the ppl that dl, dl because of the fucking rediculous prices `one has to pay for an imported cds?
that most of the good cds cant be bought in this fking country and we dont want to buy an album with "malaysia special edition" printed on the fking cd cover?
FUCK.
yea, im not thinking logically right now, i know what the govt is doing is right. but i just wanna say someth against it.

weird.

funny, yesterday, i helped my mom mark her pre-school exam papers done by her 6 year old class, they managed to do pretty well. the funny thing was that the papers were pmr standard.

I guess i should rant abt out country's poor standard in education. BUT, my poor english forbids me to do so. seriously.
therefore, i seriously hope anyone who reads my post will blog abt our country's poor education standards.

secondly, can anyone blog abt the main things that happened to our form this year?
like : remember the time xxx did blablabla

someth like dat.

thirdly,
will someone post somrth REALY emo abt how time flies?

fourthly,
will someone post pics of themselves from form1 till whatever form just to compare?

thank u, i do hope u will do whatever i suggested.