OMYGOSHH!!!!

THIS IS IT GUYS. WHAT WE WANTED. WHAT WE CRAVED. THANK HOLLYWOOD. THANK YOUR GOD. OUR PRAYERS HAVE BEEN ANSWERED.

MEGAN FOX'S LESBIAN KISS SCENE

HANG ON. ITS ABOUT TO GET HOT IN HERE.

cheers,

chuen. " wow thats the first time im hearing you drop the F-bomb!" Megan Fox

Time Will Tell. by Nancy Gibbs

Every fall the professors at Beloit College publish their Mindset List, a dictionary of all the deeply ingrained cultural references that will make no sense to the bright-eyed students of the incoming class. It's a kind of time travel, to remind us how far we've come. This year's freshmen were typically born in 1991. That means, the authors explain, they have never used a card catalog to find a book; salsa has always outsold ketchup; women have always outnumbered men in college. There has always been blue Jell-O.

In 1991 we were fighting a war in Iraq, and still are; health care needed reforming, and still does. But before despairing that some things never change, consider how much has. In 1991 the world watched a black motorist named Rodney King be beaten by L.A. cops, all of whom were acquitted; a majority of whites still disapproved of interracial marriage. Ask yourself, Would the people we were then have voted for a mixed-race President and a black First Lady?

That year, apartheid was repealed, the Soviet Union collapsed, the Dow broke 3000. The next year, the first commercial text message was sent; now there are more transmitted every day than there are people on the planet. In the time it took for toddlers to turn into teenagers, we decoded the human genome and everyone got a cell phone, an iPod, a GPS and a DVR. As the head-spinning viral video "Did You Know" informs us, the top 10 jobs in demand in 2010 did not exist six years ago, so "we're preparing kids for jobs that don't yet exist using technologies we haven't yet invented."

We have managed, rather gracefully, far more change than we predicted would come; it turns out that our past's vision of the future was not visionary enough. This is often the case: reality puts prophecy to shame. "Sensible and responsible women do not want to vote," declared Grover Cleveland in 1905. Harry Truman, in his 1950 State of the Union address to mark the midcentury, predicted that "our total national production 50 years from now will be four times as much as it is today." It turned out to be more than 33 times as large. "It will be gone by June," promised Variety in 1955 — talking about rock 'n' roll. "It will be years — not in my time — before a woman will become Prime Minister," declared Margaret Thatcher in 1969.

Leaders rely on the future as a vaccine against the present. The Soviets have put a man in space? "I believe we should go to the moon," President Kennedy announces. "I have a dream," the Rev. Martin Luther King Jr. declares as the world around him burns. Maybe the promise is realized, even surpassed; maybe it keeps receding, pulling us along. "The best thing about the future is that it comes only one day at a time," Abraham Lincoln supposedly observed. Which is true for those in charge of creating it but maybe not for the rest of us. When we pause and look back, we get to see the past's future, know how the story turned out. Did we rise to the occasion? Did we triumph? Did we blink?

The past's power comes from experience, the lessons it dares us to dismiss on the grounds that maybe things will be different this time. The future's power is born of experiment, and the endless grudge match between fear and hope. We are having a dozen simultaneous conversations right now about change: in our institutions, our culture, our treatment of the planet and of one another.

It's tempting to just stand stock-still and squeeze your eyes shut and wait for the moment to pass, or else hoard canned goods and assume the worst. This has been an awfully ugly summer of argument, and you'd be forgiven for concluding that we've lost our will to face or fix anything. We'll just dance with the devils we know, thank you. But if you look past Washington, past Wall Street, turn down the volume and go outside and walk around, you'll find the parcels of grace, of ingenuity and enterprise — people riding change like a skateboard, speeding off a ramp, twisting, flipping, somehow landing with a rush of wind and wheels — and wonder that it somehow hasn't killed us yet.

When members of the freshman class of 2027 look back at our future, what's likely to surprise them most? Will they marvel that gays were once not allowed to marry — or that they ever were? That we waited while the planet warmed, or that we acted to save it? That we protected the poor, or empowered them, or ignored them? That we lived within our means, or beyond them? We'll make our choices one day at a time, but our kids will judge our generation for what we generate, and what we leave undone.

post-per-day

well i was in KLCC today and i must say, this shop, "Boost Juice Bars" has probably THE most quirky and funny flyer/menu (i don't know what is is, it was by the cashier).

for example: this is the introduction to their selection of low -fat smoothies.


Smoothies made with fresh fruit
and good-for-you yogurt!

They’re all at least 98 percent fat free – how?
We make sure we only pick the skinniest
cows to produce our milk and yogurt.
Not only that, all of our fruit is put through
a vigorous Olivia Newton-John style workout,
complete with leg warmers and the
tenacity to 'choose life'.

they pick the skinniest cows! THE SKINNIEST.

i wonder if that applies to breast-milk.

btw, Olivia Newton-John is that babe from that "lets get physical" music video in the 80's

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=spaw8bCZMHc check her out. she IS hot.

and on a little box on the side, there's this "did you know" box that says:

our exclusive TD4 (to die for) yoghurt contains live cultures and big words like streptococcus thermophilis and lactobacillus delbrueki for internal harmony.

need i say anymore?

next choice? fresh juices :

Freshly Squeezed, no added sugar!

We take the most innocent-looking
fresh fruit and veggies (especially the
ones with naturally sweet personalities
and cute little dimples),
then brutally squeeze, pulp and grind
into a delicious, vitamin packed juice.
Surprisingly this is legal to do.
Except in Gaborone, the capital of Botswana,
where the Humanity Towards Fruit Legislation
Act of 1999 was put in place to protect the
rights of innocent fruit, much to our outcry.

I wont even bother making any wisecrack jokes. anything i come up with pales in comparison to that

next, fruit crushes, basically mixed fruit juices:

Surprisingly, it’s not unheard of for
our fruit to get quite friendly with
each other when our Boosties are
looking the other way.
It always starts as an innocent
Fruit Crush, but then leads to
something more serious.
In fact, some crushes have lead
to full relationships that have
resulted in offspring – for example,
a plum and apricot just gave birth
to a “pluot”. Cooool!

that is dope. mr lemon, mrs watermelon.. please welcome your son, waterlemon. he's sour and seedy. noone will ever like him.

and on the allergy info, there's a little section that is printed in small fonts (looks like terms & conditions) but wait! here's what it says :

• the space between your eyebrows is called the glabella
• 90% of the population has an "innie" belly button
• a person who smokes a pack of cigarettes(on average) loses two teeth every two years
• a pregnant goldfish is called a twit
• in every episode of Seinfeld there is a Superman somewhere
• Charlie Chaplin once entered a Charlie Chaplin look-alike contest and was placed third
• no word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver or purple
• the word "fart" comes from the old english "foertan" (meaning to break wind)
• a ducks quack doesn't echo
• a snail can sleep for three years
• all the clocks in Pulp Fiction are stuck on 4:20
• its impossible to lick your elbow
• triskaidekaphobia means fear of the number 13
• h
most lipsticks contain fish scales
coconuts kill about 150 people each year (that's more than sharks)
if you put a drop of liquor on a scorpion, it will instantly go mad and sting itself to death
bats always turn left when exiting a cave
people photocopying their buttocks are the cause of 23% of all photocopier faults worldwide
more than 50% of the world's population as never made or received a telephone call
• winston churchill was born in a ladies room during a dance
• all polar bears are left handed

and lastly:

all information was correct at time of printing, or so we hope. sometimes we do make mistakes, we're human after all. Well actually it wasn't humans that put this together, it was a giant baboon wearing a little top hat. We call him Graham.

hell yeah. this is THE best flyer I've ever read. either they're taking advantage of the fact that no one reads , or they're just THAT brilliant.

oh and when i was leaving through the exit in Isetan, i accidentally stepped on some juice that this kid dropped from "Boost" (i know. the irony) and i closed the glass door behind me without looking. (I WAS IN A RUSH!)

and then i heard "THANKS" in the most sarcastic tone you will ever hear and i tell you, that really lit my day up. it was just that awkward. we both laughed and i opened the door for her. awesome. funny as hell.

signed,

chuen. =)

P.S their brekkie to go-go is awesome.

post-per-day

well folks let me introduce you to the latest hardcore workout you can ask for. this fantastic workout tones your:

• M.deltoidus (shoulder muscles)
• M.pectoralis major (chest)
• M.extensor radialis brevis (wrists)
• trapezius (back)
• M.sternocleidomastoldeus (neck)
• M.soleus (calves)
• M.extensor digitorium longus (shin muscles)

boy, thats ALOT of muscles! what kind of workout could possibly do so much for you, you ask?

bench press? weights? jogging?

NOPE

ladies and gentlemen, let me introduce to you the best workout you will ever know about..

*drumrolls*

PARALLEL PARKING

oh boy, sounds awesome huh?

its simple really, * all you have to do is work that steering wheel!

come on now, do it with me! 2 turns left! oh yeah, turn that steering wheel.

ok now 4 turns right! oh boy can you feel that burn? now 2 turns left and let go off that clutch! boy, now BREAK.

oh yeah, work those calves. now gimme another 2 left turns of that steering wheel, remember: push and pull, push and pull!

yess! now repeat this for TWO hours! **

oh boy, now look in that mirror and flex those muscles! dont they look HOT. ***

*its not that simple, i lie.

** you need a car first

***experiences may vary

signed,

jchuen. =) cheers fellas

post-per-day

is it me or does anyone have a problem with phony/plastic/fake/ugly things. and i do NOT mean brand names or dvd's. for i thrive on them and that would be shooting myself in the foot.

but what im getting to are things that are meant to resemble nature.

for instance today i spotted some fake rocks by the side of the road.
why the bleeding fuck would you want FAKE rocks?
oh what are they suppose to look better?
cause well you think u can do a better job than mother nature?
plain ol'rocks just doesn't cut it for you anymore?
you want something more than that?
taking it up a notch huh? an upgraded version of rocks.. nice.. fake rocks. you can call them focks. they rock.

WELL, FOCK YOU.

they really piss me off. its like littering in public.

only difference is. noone cleans it up.

signed
chuen

anything. THIS IS ANYTH KENGYEE

oh well, throughout the whole exam i only have ONE complaint.

why on earth cant we bring our water bottles in when every paper has an average duration of 1:55 hours?!
its horrible! plopping ur fat arse on a plastic chair in a freezing cold room for 2 hours while looking blankly at each question, waiting for divine intervention and then u breath out a sigh of disappointment and u almost faint coz your breath stinks so bad that it give you a mental block for half an hour.

WE NEED WATER.

didn't anyone read the importance of water in the nutrition chapter of biology?!

and to make matters worse, ur lips start cracking and bleeding and well eating is not as enjoyable as it used to be.

so, why. the. fuck. cant we bring our bottles in?

lets see:

1. the student might slip some exam notes beneath the plastic sheet that covers the bottle. the plastic sheet that tears immediately when even the teeniest amount of force is applied.
2. students will get distracted by their bottles. yeah i can see the sense in that. my bottle, it carries water. omg i could stare at it all day.
3. the water bottle could carry clues. yeah assuming we had no fucking clue what a cylinder looked like and that the chemical content of the water could save us from failing our chem paper.
4. we could be storing brain enhancers in our water bottles. oh wait, thats a pretty brilliant idea. (i kid, i kid)
5. we might spill our water. cause well 5 year olds do it and it just makes sense that a 17 year old would do it too. mmhmmm, 5 year olds soil themselves too. do u see me making mud pies as well? (please exclude XWei from no5)

it just defies logic.

signed,

jchuen.

twat, my mouth hurts.