for example: this is the introduction to their selection of low -fat smoothies.
Smoothies made with fresh fruit
and good-for-you yogurt!
They’re all at least 98 percent fat free – how?
We make sure we only pick the skinniest
cows to produce our milk and yogurt.
Not only that, all of our fruit is put through
a vigorous Olivia Newton-John style workout,
complete with leg warmers and the
tenacity to 'choose life'.
Freshly Squeezed, no added sugar!
We take the most innocent-looking
fresh fruit and veggies (especially the
ones with naturally sweet personalities
and cute little dimples),
then brutally squeeze, pulp and grind
into a delicious, vitamin packed juice.
Surprisingly this is legal to do.
Except in Gaborone, the capital of Botswana,
where the Humanity Towards Fruit Legislation
Act of 1999 was put in place to protect the
rights of innocent fruit, much to our outcry.
I wont even bother making any wisecrack jokes. anything i come up with pales in comparison to that
next, fruit crushes, basically mixed fruit juices:
Surprisingly, it’s not unheard of for
our fruit to get quite friendly with
each other when our Boosties are
looking the other way.
It always starts as an innocent
Fruit Crush, but then leads to
something more serious.
In fact, some crushes have lead
to full relationships that have
resulted in offspring – for example,
a plum and apricot just gave birth
to a “pluot”. Cooool!
that is dope. mr lemon, mrs watermelon.. please welcome your son, waterlemon. he's sour and seedy. noone will ever like him.
and on the allergy info, there's a little section that is printed in small fonts (looks like terms & conditions) but wait! here's what it says :
- the space between your eyebrows is called the glabella
- 90% of the population has an "innie" belly button
- a person who smokes a pack of cigarettes(on average) loses two teeth every two years
- a pregnant goldfish is called a twit
- in every episode of Seinfeld there is a Superman somewhere
- Charlie Chaplin once entered a Charlie Chaplin look-alike contest and was placed third
- no word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver or purple
- the word "fart" comes from the old english "foertan" (meaning to break wind)
- a ducks quack doesn't echo
- a snail can sleep for three years
- all the clocks in Pulp Fiction are stuck on 4:20
- its impossible to lick your elbow
- triskaidekaphobia means fear of the number 13
- h
- most lipsticks contain fish scales
- coconuts kill about 150 people each year (that's more than sharks)
- if you put a drop of liquor on a scorpion, it will instantly go mad and sting itself to death
- bats always turn left when exiting a cave
- people photocopying their buttocks are the cause of 23% of all photocopier faults worldwide
- more than 50% of the world's population as never made or received a telephone call
- winston churchill was born in a ladies room during a dance
- all polar bears are left handed
and lastly:
all information was correct at time of printing, or so we hope. sometimes we do make mistakes, we're human after all. Well actually it wasn't humans that put this together, it was a giant baboon wearing a little top hat. We call him Graham.
hell yeah. this is THE best flyer I've ever read. either they're taking advantage of the fact that no one reads , or they're just THAT brilliant.
oh and when i was leaving through the exit in Isetan, i accidentally stepped on some juice that this kid dropped from "Boost" (i know. the irony) and i closed the glass door behind me without looking. (I WAS IN A RUSH!)
and then i heard "THANKS" in the most sarcastic tone you will ever hear and i tell you, that really lit my day up. it was just that awkward. we both laughed and i opened the door for her. awesome. funny as hell.
signed,
chuen. =)
P.S their brekkie to go-go is awesome.
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