resurrection

a phoenix rising from its ashes,
a blog brought back to life.
be prepared for its backlash,
i need not say it twice.

how bloody cool is that??

hu misses me?~

EVERYONE

i know.

ok,

dramatic beginning: check

obnoxious self: check

well, to start things off, lets have a little joke!

Confucius say,

if u drop watch in toilet, u have shitty time!

but Confucius also said,

today is the tomorrow you promised me yesterday

which is wise.

i cant stand theft.

yesterday, i experienced it first hand when my rm140 was stolen frm my wallet yesterday.

whoever toke it obviously wanted to rub it in my face for he took the money, left the wallet and had me keep the change.

fucking shit, okay aside frm the fact that i was careless to have put it in my pants and left my pants in class; i find it unacceptable that ppl would go snooping around looking for cash.

where is your moral? THE MONEY IS FOR MY FUCKING MONITOR'S BLAZER.

i cant accept it, all this while i thought all students at wesley were a fine lot and ppl who lost stuff must have just been unlucky.

thanks for killing off that thought.

all this while i have defended my school's name whenever i talk to others abt their school's poor discipline. i have always said that my school is a good school.
but i guess that'll change wouldnt it?

whatever it is, i wonder how the bloody hell does one have the balls to spend the money that was not his, the money that was my fathers, and my father worked hard.

as they say, all things start small, i guess what would have started off as stealing rm140 would eventually lead to bigger things and his/her future is tainted.

blame your parents? please.
i have better things than to blame other sides than the very individual.
i do not understand how ppl can blame their parents. its unacceptable. as an individual, one would have moral standards unless one was fucking raised bby motherfucking wolves.
the brain, no matter how young would know how to differentiate right from wrong.
try it, ask a 2 yr old toddler to push another, and he would refuse.

it is how one ignores his own judgement and becomes as primitive as his predecessors.
in simple words, one's conscience.

if you see a piece of paper drop on the floor right before your eyes, the mind automatically tells you to either pick it up or leave it.
pick it up and immediately, u forget the whole incident.
leave it and u will feel a sense of guilt. it is not overwhelming but it is a tinge of guilt and a little shame.

that is if your normal.

that was just picking up a piece of paper.

what about stealing rm140?

could the same principles be applied?

i wouldn't know.

but i think not,

to begin with, it is not as though the money magically appeared in front of that individual.

he had a completely different mindset.

he had already set his mind to finding some money and stealing it.

so in the beginning, he had already ignored his judgement on what is right and wrong. so there were no two choices of whether he should leave the money or take it.

therefore, he has become as primitive as an animal fighting for its survival in the jungle.

animals, they can come in colourful and deceitful appearances to trick its prey or enemies and ensuring its survival.

survival

does our country and its people look as though we're waiting to gobble each other up?!

why the fuck would you steal money?

you go to a private school, so the question of poverty is out of the question.

you are 16, what would you need that costs so much? and if that individual could think properly, wouldn't his parents suspect anyth?

maybe im just naive but the only valid reason i could come up for this sad son of a bitch is his disillusioned mind tells him that he is amazing when he steals and that he achieves a sense of pride and triumph.

get a life.

sincerely, tjchuen

dirt in our wallets.

ok im back.

ok, the next time u open ur angpow which wud be tmr or so, dont be suprised, i repeat DONT be suprised if u open ur angpow and think that ur money has been vommited on by someone who has an appetite for that blue yucky kuih that u can get in pasars.

instead rejoice! for ur uncle/aunty/daddy/mommy was free enough to be out trading in their old notes for the new one instead of worrying abt out country's dire situation.

but while we are still on subject of dirt, i will explain why i think the new 50 dollar note is dirt

b4 that, lets take a trip down memory lane.

this was our first 50 dollar note.

i must say our 2nd one was really beautiful. rich with malaysian culture. excellent.

our third one, i must say, we cut down alot on the malay culture part but it looked abit more modern.

and then, in 1998 there was a draft, an idea to release a new 50 dollar note. it looked like this

its made of the same material as the 5 ringgit note. a change of colour, definitely an improvement. and that was exactly 10 years ago.

10 years after, we drop the motherload of shitloads.

brace yourselves.

taadaaaa. yes i can hear the *gasps* the *groans* and the all so recognisable *WHATTHEFUCK*
ok, im not art critic but i think i know fucked-up when i see fucked-up.
lets see, we'll start at the top left and go clockwise.

ok, i see the borders, its greeny/dirty yellow which totally clashes with the blue of the note. and the note itself, it goes frm light ugly to darker. and WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT UGLY PAINTING OF THE HIBISCUS ABOUT? was the country saving money on artists? did u guys pocket 90% of the budget?? fuck man, the red clashes and stands out on the blue background like fking acne on an already fked up face. it even looks like we took a few pointers frm the 1950-s.

but wait, there's fking more.

ok, dont get me started, the 50 sign at top right is either wrong colour or the country is really cutting back on funds. and that picture, that picture. UGH. did u hafta frame it??? kelapa sawit and molecules in the fking middle?? ok either we're trying to say we're a country that is all abt botanism or we're fking blind and confused coz we're not either. and the font of out number 50 is fking ugly. im telling u since the 2nd note, we've gone downhill like shit. GOD IT SUCKS BALLS.

thank u.

a post abt dirt

dirt as we know is dirty.

i know, ur probably popping up with a hundred witty and cute remarks to say abt my first line. i dont mind, i would mind if u had nth to say abt it, it would mean ur too fucking stupid to read this blog.

and if ur defending urself in your mind now, its probably too late. but cheers anyway. STUPID.

anyway, as my title reads, today's post is abt dirt.

to start things off, saturday was interact club's "clean-toilet-day" . sad to say, i am not in that club. yes, yes, i was rejected. BIG DEAL. as u can see the whole of K gang didnt get in. DO I SEE A PATTERN HERE?

yes, if u dont understand u probably live under a tupperware or ur the same person that that got insulted by me in the 2nd paragraph. cheers again.

anyhow, me and the football team had a training session that day and lets just say the session would qualify for at least half an hour on discovery channel's "dirty jobs"

well anyway, after being covered with grime and maybe dog shit. me, xxx and xian wei went back to school.

xxx: hey when we go back to school, let me ask whether we can shower ok?
jc: nvm wan la, just go in there and crap the damn place up, owh the interactors are gonna love it.
xxx: dont la, let me ask after i kena marah u knw.
jc: fine but if teacher dont let u dont go i'll go ok?

AND WE DID. and i stole the surau's slippars coz i din have any at that time. lucky jsh took it. thanks mate.

the next topic related to dirt will be due during or after cny.

baby..

my baby..

my one and my only,

my now and always,
my life and my everything,
my precious,
my beautiful,
my sunshine on a shitty day,
my rain on a sleepy day

my laughter when i have no voice

my baby, i love you. now and always

you make heads turn
you are slim and beautiful
you are a work of art

you are one of the most beautiful creations ever

you are the benchmark

you have the most beautiful voice

you are the one i will treasure and protect

i will hold u so gently

i will touch u so delicately

i will caress you so sensually

i will never leave you no matter what.

i will. and you know i will.

i love you.

my baby xxxxx <3

i open the door to my heart.

wow. THAT has to be the most EMO title i've ever typed.

but lets stick with it.
everyth typed here is frm my heart, so there should be veeeery little insults thrown around

this is long overdue but lets get over with it.

2007 has been very eventful. and one could not possible get over it that easily.

and then 2008 came along.

somehow, its CRAP.
i have nv been so busy at the STARTING of the year. its like hw every fucking day. i've gotten so many ulsers lately because of it. (mostly coz i start doin my work at 10.) but the point is, one shud be entitled to a relaxing first month of ANY year.

anyhow, moving on now, xian wei is in my class and today he choked on his SALIVA. a whole new low. way to go.

sean left us.

let me make myself clear. sean : the person i was friends with since form one, the person whom i have eaten together for every break and lunch, the friend that introduced me to scary movie and all the teen movies that ever existed, the friend who got me interested in breakdancing altho i have lost all interest in it, the friend who helped me get some jobs, the friend who was insanely underweight, the friend who dyed his hair like a tiger's ass during the holiday, the friend who was quiet yet nv hesitate at laughin at our jokes, the friend who had a special way of kicking a ball from te air, the friend hu nv missed a header, the friend which i sat next to in form 2 for maths, the friend who bluetoothed all his songs to me, the friend who invited us to his home and where we played fifa 2008. the friend which grabbed most of the attention in form one because of his good looks, the friend hu looked emo and half starved, the friend who made xian wei fear him for most f his form 2 life, the friend who was such a fking violent ass when he was form 1 and 2, the friend who complimented on some of my grafftiti, the friend who pulled me up when i was sitting on the floor, the friend hu called me when i was form one to let me hear "my dad's gone crazy" by eminem, the friend who was private, the friend that had toenails that looked like they were genetically modified, the friend who was just a friend to all who did not feel to be close to anyone, the friend who wore converse shoes when we were form 1 & 2 and complained our asses of abt its cheap ass soles, the friend who had 50 cent bling in form 1 and showed it off to us, the friend who nv forgets how his neighbour rammed up my knee so hard my leg looked like it was mercedes branded, the friend who was an arsenal fan, the friend who was a friend, a good friend, a mate and part of K gang, i'll miss you.

*sniff*

god im so emo right now, kenny G is not helping.


sincerely, Tjchuen
i'll miss u mother fucker.

fuck

fuck. whatever i got for my pmr is totally insignificant.

WHY?

because if i were to state how happy and satisfied i was, my mind unconsciously tells me this.

1) xian wei, retard no 1 in our gang got straight As.

that was my brain typing. my heart states otherwise.

2)7887 ppl got 8As in KUALA LUMPUR alone.

which is 2As more than me. which means they scored straight As while taking ONE more subject than me. which i, only got 6 out of 7 for. which means i cannot compare myself to any of them which means while i cudnt even score for ONE language paper which is BM, they scored TWO.

which means while i only got 6/7 which means 85% out of 100%, if i were to measure myself up against ppl who took 8 subjects and got all As for them. wat i have achieved wud be insignificant. this is because with that extra A, it wud mean they got 114% which is 29% more than me. which also means i, being a chinese boy, have failed my identity.

FUCK ME.

3)if we were to compare ourselves to any other countries. exclude the ones that u knw ARE stupid. or simply incapable because of their countries status. status being "at war, chaos or natural disaster has struck." NOT simply "malay." yes i knw, GOOD JOKE.

yes, u knw wut to expect, so before u get all smug, think abt the fact that if u were to migrate to another country, u would be put in probably a special needs class. 

4)my family, including my extanded family, friends etc is PROUD while being ignorant abt the above facts. which results in me feeling aboslutely STUPID when i think abt what i am.

now for the mother load

5) I ACTUALLY THINK IM GOOD. 

FUCK.

NOW, six reasons why getting 6As is better than 7.

1) when u get 6As, u can boast. why?

because, even when u boast, ppl cant tell because, well u didnt get straight As. 

2) u can still tell ppl FUCK bm. who gives a shit? certainly not me. 

and ppl dun question u, i mean  u DID fuck ur bm paper up.

3)it shows ppl that no matter how perfect i am, i AM flawed, that what makes us human. and I am qualified. coz i din get straight As.

4)6As make u sound like a rebellious boy that has good results. if u WERE  a rebellious kid and u got 7, ppl would have to see u before they made that conclusion. where else 6 speaks volumes by it self.

5)by getting 6As, and flunking my bm, i have become the majority of students who have fked their bm paper up hence, making the gouvernment realise what a burden bm is. or iin our case, maybe matthews will cancel bm. i mean our school IS private

6) six sounds so much cooler. i mean we even get to use cooler hand gestures when we tell ppl.

yea? hahah

oh well, i shall try my hardest to get myself an ipod nano video.

heck jz another post

has anyone gone to a mamak store and found out all u cud watch was SUNTV?
specifically, a music video programme?
well, i found myself in that situation this very day.

fact,
only three songs can be fit into a whole half an hour.

fact ,
advertisements HAVE to be songs.

fact, malaysia is made of sad sad idiots
why i say someth like dat?

ok, u knw all those little chat logs at the bottom of the screen when the music video is played where one has to pay an ammount to sms whateva they want and it wud be displayed for the whole nation?

well, this programme is making big bux all right. ppl actually have conversations on that chat log.
and talk abt reaching out to other races, there were tons of ppl smsing in MALAY. when they cud sms in tamil. i might be making conclusions a wee bit too early but i seriously have no idea what else could this mean.

so i came up with a few reasons
1. the person is malay. respects to SUNTV, they actually lured MALAY ppl into watching a HINDU channel.

OR

i shall put it in malay incase the person who i am talking abt happens to watch this. ENGKAU INI MEMANG KASIHAN LA.

2. indian ppl are seeking ways to be degrade themselves.

OR

indian ppl just find the malay language sexy. i mean, what could be more sexy than a language that stresses upon foul words frm other races?

OR

speaking the malay language in ur everyday life will increase ur chances of deceiving ppl that u ARE indeed malay and lay a malay girl with a richass father whoe earned his money the malay way.

3. u want to stand out and u cant think of a better possible way to make heads turn besides screaming "IM INDIAN BUT I SPEAK MALAY!"

4. u wake up one day and u just say to youself "u knw wut? life just isnt meaningful enough if u dont make fun of urself and laugh." so u decide to hit the motherload of all jackass stunts and speak malay. i mean u can videotape urself and post it on youtubes and get comments like "whoa wtf, that was rad man!"
" shit u got balls man"
"fuck! ur my fkin idol"
"fkin awesome shit dude."

5. u have no indian friends

6. u figure lepak-ing in malls is ur way of life.

7. u feel that there is not enough controversy in ur life and what better way than to get a headstart than speaking malay while being indian?

8. u want to be the britney spears of malaysia. britney did this did that well eat this britney! im indian but im speaking malay! whose the bigger wreck NOW?

9. ur motto is "what doesnt kill u makes u stronger"hence u welcome the daily beating ups.

10. u may watch bollywood, but in truth, ur greatest passion is lousy vocals and shitty lyrics sung by our boys in brown!

heck i could go on all day but that should be it for the day.

now, i would like to comment abt this indian music vid i saw. HECK its not ur usual field dancing song.
picture this.


its downtown bombay, a gang of strong and buffed up indian men have captured a beautiful lady-passerby which coincidentaly happens to be our leading actress! noone dares to do a thing. the town is scred stiff!
she screams in tamil and opens her eyes so widely u feel she must be really dedicated to her job.
THEN.
a motorcycle aproaches. a big fierce harley davidson kind of bike. but there is no rider! but alas, there is! he is lying down on his bike while his bike speeds at 130km/h toward the bad guys.
THEN
the bike breaks so dramaticaly that the rider is flung out into the air. but he manages to land on both feet while winking.
THEN
out of nowhere a guitar appears and our handsome bearded rider starts to play his guitar and all of a sudden the town begins to dance behind him all equiped with acoustic guitars waiting to kickass! did i meantion they were scared stiff in the beginning?
THEN
out hero start shooting out of his GUITAR. and he manages to catch his beautiful damsel in distress. he looks at her. she looks at him.
THEN
they break out into a victory dance and in the meantime backup arrives. so the hero dances and kills almost every man to hold someth. i cud have sworn he shot a guy holding a banana. this continues for a good 7 minutes.
THEN
the boss arrives. he steals our heroes GUITAR. the townsfolk as scred silly AGAIN. but our hero has a few tricks up his sleeve. he reaches out and grabs the guitar case and shoots a rocket at out boss. the town explodes and the bad guys fly into the sky the way power rangers do when they get shot. INCREDIBLE. absolutely MAGNIFICENT.

someth else i saw on tele.
u know the profitable plots advert?
isnt it ridiculous?
u knw the one with steve macman and bryan robson?

"hey robbie, u heard of profitable plots? i bought one"
yea macca, i bought two
"u bought two??? i onli bought one"

the acting is SOOO horrible its funny. dont quit ur day job mates.